Shortest Time Travel and Anime Trip EVER!
by Number 082300
Summary: One Shot. Alice gets thrown into the Ronin Warriors' world for a brief amount of time. NOT a self-insert!


Shortest Time Travel and Anime Trip EVER!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Ronin Warriors.

This story was set in the not-so- far future and will be thrown into the past. The present does not exist! MUAHAHAHA!

_**Bold and Italics**_ = Japanese

* * *

><p>It was a fun, beautiful Halloween day in the city of Chicago. The streets were full of cheesy ghosts, skeletons and pumpkin dressed children.<p>

SCRATCH THAT.

It is October 31, 2011. We are in the 21st century. There are no longer cheesy ghosts, skeletons and pumpkin dressed children… there are now slutty Disney princesses, a crap ton of Jack Sparrows, full grown men in metallic thongs and more inappropriate others that we come to love.

We focus in on 30 year old Alice Buttnik… she prefers only Alice.

This Halloween, she finally caved in to being Alice in Wonderland – thanks to her friends' constant harassment from over the years. Her black, shiny stripper shoes clicked against the cracked concrete as she strutted to an all day party in Logan Square. Her movements caused her short, poofy blue skirt to bounce happily while magically keeping her thigh-highs in place. To enhance her fair skin cleavage, she wore a Victoria Secret's Dream Angel bra under already low-cut dress. Good thing she already had bleach blonde hair and sky blue eyes… she didn't have to invest in a wig and color contacts.

Happy that she was able to convince her boss to let her have her favorite holiday off, she was thrilled to have Tuesday off as well. How was she able to get a four day weekend? There was a sudden death in the family… and by that she secretly means a character in one of her Japanese Animations died. Halloween should never fall on a Monday.

While humming a new song that we don't know of yet, Alice pulls out her brand new iPhone 5 from her Hobo blue mini Coach handbag. She quickly checked her messages before turning onto Kimball Street where the party resided. She gave a childish pout when she had no new texts, tweets or Facebook messages directed to her. With dramatic sigh, she put her phone back in her overly expensive purse.

She turned the corner and halted when she saw a bright white rabbit sitting in her path. She blinked curiously at the small creature, wondering why it was not scattering away like all of the other small animals. _How is this rabbit so clean and not road-kill in Chicago? Do we even have live rabbits here? _It just sat there calmly… staring at her, waiting for her to do something.

"_What?_" she asked annoyed. The tall ears of the bunny twitched to her bell-like voice.

Alice jumped slightly when the fluffy thing hopped toward her and nudged its head toward the nearby alley.

_What the HELL?_

Annoyed that the girl was not moving, the rabbit coughed and threw up a white gold ring. Alice gagged at the sight of the unexpected action, but then noticed what clinked on the sidewalk. Was that _her_ ring?

_Wait… there are diamonds that form a panda on that ring…_

"HEY!" Alice flushed angrily at the realization. "That's _MY_ ring! How did steal that from my room?"

The little evil rabbit rolled its eyes at her. _Rabbits don't talk_, it seemed to say.

"You little shit!" Alice growled as she stomped toward the critter to retrieve her well earned ring. "HEY!"

Before Alice could get to it, the rabbit snatched the ring in its mouth and sped away.

"GET BACK HERE!" she demanded as she ran after the evil bunny. She made a sharp turn into a narrow alley that the rabbit disappeared in. Grateful that she was small, Alice was able to sprint with ease between the two brick walls… well, run as fast she as she could in her high heels. The smell of piss and beer turned the woman's stomach as she hopped over trash, urine puddles and abandoned condoms.

"Ew, ew, ew!" she yelped as she barely avoided a pile of feces that don't seem to belong to a mammal. She looked ahead and saw the white thief not so away. "I'm going to get you, you little – EEP!" Alice stepped on an empty MGD beer bottle that rolled under her ball of her platform foot. She felt herself fall back and cringed at the idea of possibly landing in a mini pool of pee. She grimaced in pain as her elbows scraped the walls on the way down. She clenched her eyes shut as she awaited her disgusting doom.

Instead of landing on gravel covered in human fluids and heroine needles, Alice opened her eyes to find herself falling in a black hole. She squirmed chaotically as her body toss and turned in midair. Not sure what else to do… she screamed bloody murder.

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>Oh no, their hearts and minds are not united…"<strong>_ Nasuti stated worriedly out loud while standing next to Jun. She had to do something… she had to tell them what they were doing wrong for the sake of the world! She took a deep breath and yelled, _**"Listen to me! The Dynasty is not something you can defeat if you do not stand together and work as a team!"**_

The five Ronins stood there stunned as they realized that the young woman was right. How could they be so stupid! The Dynasty soldier glared venomously at the woman and child for intruding.

"_**This was a private matter,"**_ the soldier growled as he spun his kyoketsu shoge. _**"But since you express an interest!" **_He threw his chains toward the two and was going to pull them in. But before his weapon could reach them, something fell and broke through the ground. He unintentionally wrapped his chain around the new, light blue clad figure and whipped it toward him. Whatever or whoever it was, it squeaked when it bumped back into the soldier's grayish green armor.

Everyone stood there dumbfounded as their enemy held up a strangely dressed woman and eyed her with bafflement.

"_**Where did you come from?" **_the soldier asked harshly as he raised the disorientated woman eye level.

"Wha?" she groaned as she tried to focus with everything spiraling around her. Her frazzled hair and crossed eyes made her appear… well, crazy.

"_**WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"**_ he roared and shook the already dizzy female. _**"TELL ME! ARE YOU HERE TO STOP THE DYNASTY? IF YOU ARE, YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL! FOR TALPA IS-"**_

"SHUT UP!" she screeched with annoyance causing everyone to jump. The soldier stopped shaking her as he watched her with confusion. "I have no idea what you are saying! And you are making me more dizzy and sick!"

"Nani?" was all Alice heard.

"Crap," she grumbled. "You speak Japanese… I learned a little bit back in high school but I can't remember much of it. God, I'm getting old."

Everyone blinked at her.

"_**What is she wearing?"**_ Shin asked Seiji who standing beside him.

"_**I don't know,"**_ Shu overheard his question and smirked ever so slightly. _**"But I kind of like it."**_

"_**It looks uncomfortable,"**_ Shin cocked his head curiously. _**"I wonder what language she is speaking."**_

"English," Touma answered for him. "_**I know a little bit… **_Hello!"

Alice's head snapped at a guy with a dark blue sub armor and matching hair. She eyed him curiously and then immediately looked shocked.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed. "I'm in Ronin Warriors!"

"Excuse me?" Touma asked confused.

"_**What is this pest saying?"**_ the soldier demanded.

"_**I'm not so sure," **_Touma shrugged honestly as everyone looked at him. _**"She's speaking too fast."**_

"_**Well," **_the soldier glared as he jerked his prisoner whom glared at him. _**"Tell her to slow down!"**_

"_**Just put her down," **_Ryou growled as he stepped closer.

"Oooo," Alice smiled seductively at the Wildfire and winked. "You were always my favorite."

"_**What did she say?" **_Ryou asked Touma curiously. He was sure that the woman said something to him.

"_**She said you were her favorite,"**_ Touma answered with confusion.

"_**What?" **_Ryou blushed.

"_**Jealous!"**_ Shu grumbled as he crossed his arms.

"Listen," Alice turned to her captor angrily. "Put me the hell down! All I wanted to do is get my panda ring from that pesky rabbit but I ended up falling in a black hole. I am PMSing, my outfit is roughed up, my hair needs to be redone, and I was totally looking forward to drinking liquor. I'm cranky!"

The Dynasty soldier blinked as turned to Touma to translate.

"_**All I caught was panda, rabbit hole, liquor and she's upset**_," he translated while he scratched his head.

"Oh!" Alice perked up as she squirmed to get her purse. "I have an idea!" She maneuvered her way to her purse, opened it and pulled out her new phone. "I know I have a translator application somewhere…."

"_**I think she has a way to translate," **_Touma informed the others.

"_**What is that thing in her hand?"**_ Shin asked as everyone turned to Touma for the answer.

"_**I have no idea…."**_

They watched her as she thumbed through her device and she smiled with triumph.

"Put me down," she spoke clearly into the object.

"_**Put me down,"**_ the device repeated back in Japanese as she glared once again at soldier. Everyone, including the soldier, jumped in wonder at the piece of technology. The captor shook his head defiantly at the tied up female whom narrowed her eyes dangerously.

"I'm warning you, put me down!" she yelled into the gadget that translated her demands in return. The soldier held his ground and she huffed with annoyance. "Asshole."

"_**Asshole,"**_ her phone piped which caused everyone to laugh except for Mr. Pea-Soup-Can here.

"_**WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"**_ he roared as he went off. _**"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! I SHOULD GUT YOU LIKE A FISH! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A MERE MORTAL THAT IS DRESSED FUNNY! YOU, YOU STRANGE HUMAN!"**_

Ignoring the Japanese rant, Alice pulled out something from her purse with her other hand with difficulty. To the Ronins, Nasuti and Jun, it looked like a small hairspray bottle.

"Listen to me, dickhead," she calmly interrupted the soldier who shut his trap and growled at her. She said something into the device and it immediately translated for her.

"_**I know that you said I am dressed funny,"**_ the phone said. _**"I'm not dressed funny, I'm from the 21**__**st**__** century. This decade's fashion sucked."**_

With that, Alice sprayed mace into the soldier's eyes.

"AH!" he screamed as he dropped the female who quickly got out of her bonds. He rubbed his eyes which only made the sting worse. "AHHHHHH!"

Alice scrambled to her feet, ran toward the Ronin group and hid behind her favorite character.

"I suggest you kill him," she recommended to Ryou who only blinked at her.

"_**She said kill him!"**_ Touma exclaimed as he ran to the soldier and tackled him down.

"_**To Arms!"**_ Ryou held out his arms. _**"Wildfire!"**_

Alice yelped in surprise as cherry blossom wallpapers flew around them… maybe she should have stepped back. She pulled back a little bit as Ryou's armor flashed onto him. After the transformation, he posed with his twin katanas dramatically.

"Seriously?" she deadpanned.

After Touma jumped out of the way, Ryou leaped high into the air.

"Twin Flame Slash!" he bellowed as his attack came crashing down the soldier – who was still rolling on the ground from the mace.

Alice closed her eyes due to the bright light and heard the soldier scream in defeat. When everything quieted down, she opened her eyes again to see a nearby building cut in half.

"Wow," she leaned on one foot and crossed her arms. "You could've just, you know, killed the guy."

The sound of her voice made everyone turn to her. Touma was the first to walk up to her and hold out his hand.

"Hello," he greeted properly. "My name is Touma."

"I'm Alice," she shook his hand. Shu said something to Touma. After listening to his orange clad friend, Touma turned back around to face her.

"You are from the 21st century?" Touma asked slowly, making sure his English was accurate.

She simply nodded as everyone stood wide-eyed.

"We didn't fail?" Touma asked with hope. Alice was confused for a moment until she remembered that they were currently trying to save the world. Not wanting to break the news that this was a fictional story, she decided to play along.

She pulled out her phone and opened up her translator again. She spoke into it.

"_**You will win,"**_ it repeated as she smiled. She then turned to face Jun from a distance; she once again spoke into her phone. _**"You're going to get slapped in few days."**_

Jun stood there dumbfounded and hurt as Nasuti hugged him protectively. The brunette somewhat glared at Alice for upsetting the child. Alice only shrugged.

She was about to say something but she felt herself float off the ground.

"What the hell?"

"_**What the hell?"**_ the phone accidently repeated.

With that, she disappeared with a flash of light.

"_**Well,"**_ Seiji broke the silence. _**"That was random."**_

END!


End file.
